


when there's stardust in your blood and bones

by discordiansamba



Series: when a black cat [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Werecat Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 13:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discordiansamba/pseuds/discordiansamba
Summary: He'd always known that there was something strange about his mother. He just didn't expect to find those answers in space.(or, five moments in time leading up to Keith leaving for the Blade of Marmora)





	when there's stardust in your blood and bones

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with a brand new installment! I've decided to approach this series without worrying too much about the overall timeline- which means I'm definitely planning and going back and expanding on a few things mentioned here in other oneshots, but this is just what I felt like writing this time around. Hopefully this will be enough to tide y'all over while I'm away on vacation, though I should at least get the next chapter of anomalous point started tomorrow, so maybe I'll have that up and ready to be published at some point during my vacation. No promises though!
> 
> That said, thanks for reading!

The first time he was able to use Galra tech, it didn't bother him. The whole situation had been a trap, so it made sense that the Galra might have purposefully arranged things so that anyone would have been able to access that panel in the hangar. It wasn't like Lance had even _tried_ the handprint.

The second time it happened was... weirder, he'd admit. But he wrote it off as there maybe being something about Shifter DNA that was close enough to Galra DNA to fool the sensors. There were an awful lot of Galra who seemed a bit catlike, so it wasn't such an outlandish theory.

The weird purple color his hand had turned after being blasted by that druid? Troubling, but possibly normal. He only had humans to compare it to, and though he might look human on the outside, he knew full well that he wasn't. Maybe for Shifters, the wounds just didn't glow- and besides, Shiro had been blasted by _Haggar_ , not just an ordinary druid.

Zarkon's claims about him fighting like a Galra? That was more troubling. Still, he'd managed to ignore that too.

But Ulaz's knife? That he couldn't explain away.

He'd always known that there was something weird about his mom. Something that had made the rest of his clan wary of him- and his father by extension. She was the source of the strange scent that had always clung to his father, long after she was gone- a scent that he'd never smelled before or since.

He just hadn't expected to find those answers in _space_.

When he was still a kid, it was easy to believe that his mom was just another Shifter. Wolf clans were notoriously stringent when it came to taboos, holding in place traditions that other clans hadn't upheld for generations. That meant no intermingling with other Shifters- at least, not romantically. Certainly not the extent that one might produce a kid.

It was why Rizavi had surprised him so much back at the Garrison. At first, he'd thought she was just another coyote- so he'd been pretty shocked to learn that she was the product of a coyote Shifter and a wolf Shifter coupling together. Apparently, the wolf side of her family wasn't too wild about it, but they were still more lax than his own clan was- if he could even _call_ his father's clan his own clan, seeing as they had pretty soundly rejected him.

It just... it made sense why they wouldn't like him, just from that alone. His mom was a cat. They were wolves. Simple. But the older he got, the less that explanation sat well with him. Eventually, he had settled on the idea that maybe his mom was a Shifter without a clan- a stray. That had made sense, right up until he made it this far out into space, and ended up with even more questions than he'd had before.

Questions to which he desperately needed an answer to.

That was how he ended up here, aching and sore, clutching his right shoulder. It throbbed painfully, the beating he had taken more than he could heal on his own. He'd still probably recover quicker than a human would- or even another Shifter. He'd _always_ healed quickly- _too_ quickly.

He'd just never stopped to question _why_.

In hindsight, he should have. He _really_ should have.

Maybe if he had, his response to being informed that he had alien blood flowing through his veins wouldn't be to immediately lose his hold on his human form. He was just lucky Shiro knew the warning signs, and rushed to catch him before he could crumple completely. He all but melted into his arms, his knife turned blade momentarily forgotten as it clattered to the floor next to them both.

Dimly, he realized that he had left Shiro to explain to the Blades how it was that he'd been in one shape one second, and was in another the next. But right now it was all he could do to keep himself from drowning in his own thoughts, which crashed over him like a wave- because so many things made sense now, and yet the realizations brought him no real relief.

He had always known he wasn't human. That wasn't the problem. Being a Shifter was a secret that had to be kept, but there was nothing _wrong_ with it.

No, the problem lay in the fact that he was _half-Galra_.

Galra. His mother had been _Galra_. They were _fighting_ the Galra.

That sinking realization chilled him to the bone, and his feline form shuddered in Shiro's arms. He paused, mid-explanation, to peek down at him, though he stubbornly refused to look at him. How could he? He was part of the same race that had captured Shiro and the rest of the Kerberos mission, that had taken both his freedom and his arm. He had every right to hate him.

Maybe- maybe he just wouldn't change back. There were Shifters who lived the entire lives in animal form, so he'd probably be fine. Maybe he'd just haunt the Castle's vents for the rest of his life, or slip off the ship on their next stop on Olkarion.

A Shifter paladin was fine, but they didn't need a paladin with Galra blood. Not after everything that they had done to Allura- and her people. But he knew that wouldn't be a plausible option. It would just be running away. He was a lot of things- apparently a lot more things than he'd known- but he _wasn't_ a coward.

"Keith?" The sound of his name startled him, causing him to abruptly look up. They had changed locations, gone back to the room where he had changed into the suit they used for the trials. It had shrunk with him- it must have been made of the same stuff that had been used to make his paladin armor. Suddenly he became sharply aware of just how _sore_ he was, even if shifting had helped.

(Was _this_ why he was a cat? Wait, was _this_ why he was so good at partial shifting? He hated how much sense that made.)

"Hey buddy," Shiro's voice was soft, almost sympathetic, "-I know you probably don't feel too good right now," and he almost snorted at the statement, or at least as much as he could in feline form, "-but we need to get back to the others. I can't exactly fly the red lion."

Right. They had come here in Red. Dimly, he wondered if she'd always known- if maybe that was the reason she was so hesitant to accept him as her paladin at first.

Honestly, Keith didn't want to go back to the Castle. Going back to the Castle meant facing Allura- and facing Allura meant having to explain that he was Galra. She had taken the fact that he was a Shifter in stride, but somehow he didn't think she would react as kindly to _this_ particular reveal.

He was starting to wish he had just left his stupid Galra knife back on the Castle.

Wriggling his way out of Shiro's grip, he winced as soon as his right front leg touched the ground, sending spikes of pain through his shoulder. It had been a lot less painful when it was just an arm. Grunting, he forced himself to return to a human shape, panting slightly with the amount of exertion it took.

"Keith?" Shiro hovered over him. "You okay?"

"Been better." Keith mumbled, stumbling to his feet, his brain quickly shedding how to walk on four in favor of walking on two. "Shiro, I-"

Shiro just gave him a sympathetic smile, resting his hand on his uninjured shoulder. "It's okay, Keith."

Keith narrowed his eyes, staring up at him in an equal mixture of disbelief and confusion. "How can it be okay? You heard Kolivan. I'm-"

"You're Keith." Shiro finished. "That's all that matters."

He felt something in him snap, like a river that was threatening to flood. Ever since he'd seen Ulaz's knife, he'd known this had been a possibility. He'd been dreading it, hoping that there was some other explanation- _any_ other explanation- than this one. How could he face the paladins if he were Galra? How could he face Allura? Shiro?

But Shiro just... made it sound so easy, that for a second, he was almost overcome with it.

But he fought it back, capping the river that threatened to overflow. Shiro was right- they needed to get back to the Castle. He was kind of fuzzy on the details, but he was pretty sure they had won the right to an alliance with the Blade of Marmora, so at least _something_ good had come out of all of this.

"Okay," Keith mumbled, "-okay. We should- _I_ should probably change."

Shiro lifted a brow, about to open his mouth. Rolling his eyes, Keith gestured at his suit. "My _clothes_ , Shiro."

Shiro snapped his mouth shut, looking vaguely flustered at his misunderstanding. In spite of everything, he felt the edge of a smile twitch at the corner of his lips. If Shiro was okay with this, then maybe not everything was terrible.

The black paladin ducked away to give him a bit of privacy. Slowly he stripped out of the suit the Blades had given him, and began the process of changing back into his paladin armor. His shoulder stung at first, but the undersuit of his armor seemed to provide it with a bit of relief- maybe there was some kind of painkiller built into the suit.

"So," Shiro piped up, "-I guess Pidge was right."

Keith frowned, peeking in Shiro's direction. "About what?"

"The Galra." Shiro told him. "About them being space cats."

Keith nearly choked on his own laughter.

* * *

The fallout to his revelation had been... mixed. Allura had reacted pretty much as he had expected- not that he could even blame her. Coran had been a surprise, as he'd shrugged off the whole issue as if it were nothing. The paladins... the paladins had been more of a mixed group. They didn't outright reject him like Allura- initially- had, but there was definitely more hesitance towards _this_ particular revelation than the one prior to it.

Pidge was curious, but largely indifferent, which came as a surprise. Lance kept looking at him like he expected him to turn out to be something else on top of what they already knew, which was... fair, he guessed. Hunk just kept cracking nervous jokes, until he too, essentially got over it.

Shiro's reaction didn't change.

But then... then Shiro was gone.

He didn't know how or why, just that he was. He'd scoured the battlefield after the fact in hopes of picking up any traces of him, but there had been nothing. No hint, no clue- nothing to suggest what had happened- as if Shiro had just vanished into thin air.

He felt... adrift, _lost_. Just when he thought he'd maybe found a place for himself, the person who had helped guide him there was gone. Even though the way the rest of the team treated him was going back to normal- or at least, what had become the new normal post his initial revelation as a Shifter- the first human he'd ever told that secret to was gone.

He'd lost Shiro- for a second time, at that. Suddenly, he was afraid that he might lose everything Shiro brought with him too- even the things he had left safely back on Earth. He didn't know _why_ \- sure, he'd lost his place at the Garrison after the Kerberos failure, but it wasn't like he'd lost Adam. It stood to reason that he wouldn't lose anyone this time either.

He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about it, so he threw himself into anything and everything so that he didn't have to. It was easy- there always seemed to be something to do around the Castle of Lions.

And if there wasn't... then there was another place he could go.

That said, today he was starting to regret his decision to swing by the Blade of Marmora's headquarters. He'd expected more training, or maybe more lessons on Galra history and culture- the _real_ stuff, not the propaganda that had been spread by Zarkon over the centuries- all things he had missed out on by growing up so far away.

He didn't expect _medical exams_.

"I'm not sure if this is really necessary." Keith said weakly, knowing before he even opened his mouth that his protests would meet deaf ears.

He'd somehow managed to avoid the bulk of his scheduled doctor's visits back on Earth, even after he'd join the Garrison and annual physicals had all but been required. He knew in theory that hundreds of Shifters lived normal human lives, some even _with_ jobs that required frequent physicals, but he'd never felt comfortable going. Maybe he'd been right to- since apparently, aside from being a Shifter, he was also _half alien_.

Truth be told, he still hadn't had time to actually _process_ that development. He wanted so badly to ask about his mother, but part of him was afraid of what he might find out.

"Every Blade is required to have a physical exam once per deca-phoeb." Kolivan merely stated. Judging from the way the doctor had looked at him when he'd opted to linger, rather than leave, he was going to guess that wasn't standard procedure.

Keith narrowed his eyes. "I don't recall ever becoming a Blade."

As far as he knew, he was just here to learn. Kolivan had been more than willing to teach him- even with how busy they had all been lately, there was usually _someone_ around willing to instruct him on the ways of the Galra- the old ways, before Zarkon. He never really had a chance to learn about his Shifter heritage- by the time he was old enough to understand, the only person who could teach him was gone. He wasn't about to miss the chance to learn more about his other half.

"You cleared the trials." Kolivan stated simply. "That makes you a Blade. A fledgling one, at least."

Keith faintly snorted at the tacked on addition- and then winced, a needle pricking his forearm. He watched as the doctor drew a vial of blood. They filed it away, pressing a sanitizing pad where they had inserted the needle. There was no familiar sting- apparently, the substance they used for sanitizing wounds up in space just didn't do that.

Unbidden, he recalled how Shiro had cleaned up his knuckles after he'd decked James. That had been the first time he'd ever told him anything in earnest about being a Shifter. He swallowed, forcing the memory back. He'd come here so that he didn't have to think about Shiro, not the other way around.

"So what," Keith began, recalling one of Hunk's bad jokes from before in his desperation to think about anything that _wasn't_ related to Shiro, "-are you going to teach me the secret handshake or something?"

Kolivan merely stared at him blankly. Guess secret handshakes weren't a thing in space. Hunk would be disappointed. "Is this an Earthling tradition?"

"I guess?" Keith frowned. "I wouldn't really call it a _tradition_."

Kolivan hummed, but otherwise his expression remained indiscernible. "Human or...?"

Keith shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Uh... both, I guess."

Kolivan arched his brows, catching his discomfort. "Is something wrong?"

Keith furrowed his brow. He didn't know how much Shiro had told them- enough to know that there was a difference between humans and Shifters, but beyond that, he hadn't exactly been listening. It wasn't like he could ask him now.

"We don't talk about ourselves to outsiders." Keith finally said, not quite meeting Kolivan's eyes. "Humans don't- they're not _supposed_ to know about us."

"I was under the impression that all the paladins were aware." Kolivan observed.

"Well... yeah." Keith said. "The Castle's big, but it's not _that_ big. It was bound to come out at some point."

"So ordinarily, they would be unaware." Kolivan said.

Keith bit his lip, giving him a slight nod. "Pretty much."

"Why?" Kolivan inquired.

Keith blinked, lifting his head. "Why what?"

"Your kind," Kolivan elaborated, "-why does it hide? From my understanding, you seem to be of equal standing to humans. Why conceal your existence?"

Keith opened his mouth to respond, before he realized he didn't exactly know why. Shutting his mouth, the furrow of his brow only managed to get deeper. "I don't- it's just always been that way. I think maybe... maybe it used to be more dangerous for us. We _had_ to stay hidden."

"Then we just," Keith tilted his head, "-then we just never changed, I guess."

"Dangerous?" Kolivan asked.

"Uh," Keith shifted a little, somewhat unused to this line of questioning, "-there used to be- still are, actually- a lot of nasty legends about Shifters. Mostly about wolves. I think we used to be hunted because of them, a long time ago."

Kolivan didn't question what a _wolf_ was, so either there was some space equivalent, or he had just decided it wasn't important enough a detail to focus on.

"And these legends," he asked instead, "-is there any truth to them?"

"No." Keith said quickly, jerking his head up. "At least... not for the most part. Maybe there's a few that were true, but the vast majority were either made up or overblown."

Kolivan hummed, almost in understanding. "I see."

Keith frowned, but didn't get a chance to ask anything further, because the next thing he knew, the doctor was making for his mouth. A gloved hand gripped his chin, the space equivalent of a cotton swab in his other, and instantly, some primal instinct caused him to jerk his head back, slamming his mouth shut.

Kolivan narrowed his eyes, but otherwise remained unfazed. "He only needs a cheek swab."

"No." Keith said firmly. "No, that's a bad idea."

For a brief moment, Kolivan actually looked puzzled, exchanging a glance with the doctor who simply opted to back away and give him his space. He breathed a little easier for it, grateful for the temporary reprieve.

"Why?" Kolivan again asked.

"It's," Keith frowned, keenly feeling the presence of his own saliva in his mouth, "-my saliva has certain... properties, I guess?"

"Properties." Kolivan echoed. "Such as?"

Keith bit his lip. He wasn't used to having to explain this much. Back on Earth, everyone understood that a bite from a Shifter- or a _were-whatever_ , he guessed- meant that the infection would spread.

His nose crinkled at the word _infection_ \- he'd never liked it. It was like he was just some kind of sick freak rather than an independent species. There just wasn't a better way to refer to it in this context. _Condition_ , maybe, but that was just as clinical.

"It depends." Keith said. "Sometimes it doesn't do anything. Sometimes it causes a change. Sometimes though... sometimes it's fatal."

The doctor flinched- for all that he was probably a Blade too, he likely had expected the possibility of facing his own death within the safety of the medical ward. Kolivan didn't, merely watching him with what was likely interest.

"Your saliva is toxic." Kolivan concluded.

"Not exactly?" Keith frowned. "Like I said, sometimes it causes people to change. To be... well, more like me, I guess. A- a Shifter."

Kolivan said nothing, so he took that as a sign to continue. "Not everyone can handle it, so..."

"They die." Kolivan finished.

Keith just nodded. Granted, he didn't know if aliens would be effected by it- they were _aliens_ , after all. But if he was part Galra, then there was a very real chance that he might be able to spread it to them. At least... he thought so.

Dimly, it occurred to him that if he could do that, then it had probably already happened. His mom, what if she- what if the reason his dad never talked about her was because _he'd_ killed her. Just because he was her son, didn't mean that there was a guarantee she'd survive.

That was- that was why it was taboo to partner with humans in the first place. Even disconnected from his clan like he was, he knew that much. Even _if_ they agreed to live by clan law and keep their existence a secret, there was a very real chance that they could die in childbirth- or even before that, since saliva wasn't the _only_ infectious substance that Shifters possessed.

A faint red tint crept to his cheeks at that thought, and he ducked his head to hide it. That was something Kolivan and the Blades _definitely_ didn't need to know. He doubted it would ever become relevant anyways.

Kolivan narrowed his eyes in thought. "We can skip the cheek swab then."

Keith's shoulders slumped in relief, and he closed his eyes. "Okay. Good."

There was a long stretch of silence, broken only by the movements of the doctor as he put away the cotton swab. Keith watched him, dimly wondering how much death he had seen. Just in the time they had been aware of the Blade of Marmora, they'd seen three of its members die- Ulaz, Thace, and Antok. They all gave their lives for the greater good, all seemingly without hesitation.

The thought settled in the pit of his stomach like a heavy stone. What if Shiro-?

"She made it back." Kolivan abruptly said.

Turning his head to look back at him, the Blade leader had locked eyes with him. Pupilless, like so many other Galra he'd seen before. He wondered if his mom had eyes like those.

"She-?"

"That's all I can say for now." Kolivan told him. "But she did make it back."

Suddenly, the heavy stone felt a bit less so. He swallowed, ducking his head so that Kolivan couldn't see his eyes. There was relief in them, at knowing that somewhere out there, his mother was still alive.

Maybe Shiro was too.

* * *

Paladin of the black lion, leader of Voltron.

It had sounded so right when those had been Shiro's titles. But him? He didn't suit them at all.

But Allura was right. Reforming Voltron was more important than any one individual- even those who were completely irreplaceable. They wouldn't stop looking for Shiro, but they did need to move on. It was what he would have wanted anyways.

He _also_ wanted him to take his place should anything happen to him, but that he understood less. He was rash, impulsive, temperamental- his first attempt at leadership had been admittedly disastrous. Without his team there to help him through it, he was pretty sure it would have gone even worse. Still, if this was what Shiro had wanted for him... he guessed he had to at least _try_.

His days after becoming the black paladin were... exhausting, to say the least. They all went by in a blur, like there was just no time to stop. Still, he managed to eat and sleep, so he thought he had all of his basic needs at least covered. It wasn't until his skin suddenly felt too tight on him that he remembered way too late that it had nearly been three full weeks since he'd last had a chance to shift.

As chaotic as his life had been, he'd actually never experienced what it was like to _forcibly_ shift. Somehow, no matter where he was, or what the environment was like, he always managed to find the time- even if it was just for a few minutes in the privacy of a closet that could lock from the inside. He knew what it was like to shift out of sheer exhaustion- his human form might be his default setting, but it took more energy to maintain when he was tired. But that was... that was different than what he was going through right now.

It wasn't painful- shifting was never painful, even though he'd been told it looked like it should be by more than one of the paladins. It was just... uncomfortable. Awkward. Especially since it wasn't happening in the safety of the Castle, or even on Olkarion, but rather this was all happening during what was supposed to be a strategic visit to the Blades.

He'd just changed forms in front of _Kolivan_.

 _Again_.

"Keith!" Allura exclaimed in surprise, reminding him that she was here too. "What in the world-?"

At least she looked more distressed than angry. She'd probably realized that this wasn't deliberate on his part.

Staggering up on four legs, Keith tucked away his knowledge of how to be human for the time being. He could shift right back, he knew, but he'd heard that wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience to go through. He'd ended up like this because he had forgotten to tend to this half of himself for too long- the timing wasn't great, but right now, what he needed to do was to pay attention to it.

Except he couldn't exactly convey that to Allura. Or to Kolivan, who was tall enough that he couldn't even make out his face from his new height. He yowled helplessly, grateful that he had at least been wearing his paladin armor. It wasn't like he was embarrassed to be naked as a cat- but he _would_ be embarrassed to later be naked as a human. _Especially_ here.

"Are you alright?" Allura inquired, stooping down on one knee so as to better address him. It was a gesture that he appreciated. "Why in the world did you just change like that? Is it some kind of allergic reaction?"

"There shouldn't be anything here to cause such a reaction." Kolivan observed- and to his surprise, also stooped down so that he was a bit more at his level. "Keith has been here many times before."

"Perhaps a delayed reaction, then." Allura frowned. "You didn't get into that dreadful pollen again, did you?"

Keith quickly and sharply yowled _no_. His mind was still very present, and besides, he hadn't even transformed all the way when he'd been under the effects of it. He was _never_ going anywhere near that planet again, no matter how desperately they might need help from the paladins of Voltron. Lance was _still_ cracking jokes about it that he would never live down.

(Even _if_ Kolivan's dangling braid did look tempting. But that was normal, and he could- and would- ignore it.)

"Good." Allura said. "I am quite certain that is not an experience you are eager to relive."

He yowled in agreement. Kolivan merely looked curious, but otherwise made no comment.

"You can understand him?" Kolivan inquired of Allura instead.

"Not really." Allura confessed. "All I can tell if he is confirming or denying."

Keith yowled in agreement, his tail twitching behind him. Communication while he was in this form had proved to be a real issue, though for the most part, they had managed. Pidge had been trying to build a translator, but right now most of her attention was fixed on finding her brother Matt, so it had more or less fallen to the wayside.

"I do not suppose that you..." Allura trailed off, tilting her head slightly as she looked towards Kolivan.

Kolivan merely arched a brow. "No."

Allura frowned, her face falling. "I thought not."

Keith huffed in amusement. Just because his Galra half had been the root cause of his feline nature, it didn't mean that they would be able to understand him any better than humans or Alteans could. Taking a few backwards steps, putting some space in between himself in them, he grit his teeth, focusing once more on his human shape, feeling the change creep over him.

It turned out to be a very unpleasant experience, just as he'd heard. It didn't bring pain- just nausea and a sense of feeling alienated in his own skin. Gasping for breath, he drew in a deep, if not shaky one, before he forced himself to sit up, knowing that there was no way in hell he'd be able to stand right now. His brain was caught somewhere between human and feline instincts, and at the moment, was keenly refusing to process the idea of walking on two legs.

"Fo _r_ got to," he gasped out, taking a second to remember how to form words, "-fo _r_ got to shift. Have to eve _r_ y once in awhile, o _r_... well, _that_ happens."

He purred every single _r_ in that sentence, but he seemed to have at least gotten the message across.

Allura looked visibly concerned. "Will you be alright?"

"Yeah, just," Keith bit down on his lip, blunt human teeth already starting to give way to sharp feline ones, "-need to not be human fo _r_ awhile."

The strain of staying in human form against his body's own wishes was starting to get to him, a cold sweat trickling down the back of his neck. He drew in a deep breath and gave into it, the transformation feeling less unpleasant and more like a relief. Ears pricking up, he stared up at Kolivan and Allura, the latter of whom looked vaguely displeased.

"I thought you said you had been taking care of yourself." Allura scolded. "You told Hunk as much."

He had the presence of mind to look guilty, staring down at his paws. He guessed this _did_ qualify as not taking care of himself. But with the transition to being the black paladin and the threat of Lotor hanging over their heads, there just hadn't been _time_.

Allura just heaved a sigh. "My apologies, Kolivan. I am afraid we may have to hold off on our strategy meeting. At the very least until our black paladin can _talk_."

She glared at him slightly as she said that, and it was all he could do to look properly ashamed of himself. He hung his head, his tail drooping.

Kolivan appeared unfazed by the whole affair, but that was pretty much business as usual with him. It took a lot more than watching the strange half-Galra who had shown up at his base out of the blue one day change forms several times over the course of a few minutes to make him so much as even blink.

For that matter, Allura appeared fairly unfazed by this all herself. She just accepted it, whereas the other paladins probably would have had more questions. It was probably because they were both aliens- if they had scant information about humans, then they had practically no information about Shifters, aside from what he told them and what they saw with their own eyes.

For the first time, it dawned on him that _he_ was _their_ first contact.

He wanted to laugh- but he couldn't, since, you know... _cat_. It was funny. They couldn't have picked a worst possible representative for Shifter-kind if they'd tried.

"We should be able to manage." Kolivan simply said. "As for Keith... I think I know a task that he might be suited for. How is he with younglings?"

If he could have, he would have turned pale. He didn't know about Galra children, but his memories of dealing with human children in this form were nothing but a source of grief. Self-preservation instinct took over, and before he could stop himself, he was already halfway down the hall.

"Well," he just barely made out Allura say, "-I suppose that answers that question."

* * *

"That," Regris grumbled in frustration, "-is just not fair."

Keith stuck out his tongue from where he had scurried up into the rafters, his tail twitching behind him in amusement. The whole point of this exercise was to not be caught by your partner, and as far as he saw it, using his shifting abilities was _absolutely_ fair game- especially if Regris was going to insist on using that tail of his.

He'd nearly got him too. If he hadn't shifted at the absolute last minute, he would have.

Just like the suit he had been given for the trials, the Blade armor that he had been given also changed forms with him. It made shifting back and forth between his human and feline forms a breeze, especially since he didn't have to worry about a helmet like he did when he wore his paladin armor. Even with paws, he could still manipulate the mask that came with the Blade armor- although the hood was a different story.

The knife had been a little more trouble, but he was big enough in feline form that its size wasn't the issue. It was just a matter of keeping it in its sheath- a problem solved by fixing it in place with a few extra straps.

He tried not to dwell on how he'd been wearing less and less of his paladin armor, and more of his Blade armor lately. It was just... with Shiro back, there wasn't as much need for him around the Castle anymore. Sure, they still needed him to fly the black lion, but it wasn't like they needed him to _lead_ anymore.

Shiro had that more than covered.

He huffed, shaking the thought off. Regris was tricky, so he couldn't afford to be caught off guard. Sure enough, the Blade was now ascending the rafters himself, using his prehensile tail to help propel him forward. Keith narrowed his eyes, watching his assent, waiting until he had just reached the top- before leaping off the rafters, transforming back into a human mid-jump. Landing on his now two feet, Keith glanced back up, giving his fellow Blade a mock salute.

"Are all Shifters this slippery?" Regris complained, hissing through his mask.

"Just me." Keith said.

Vrek, the Blade tasked with watching over their training exercises for the day, simply seemed amused at the sight unfolding in front of him. Ilun, who was watching over the other Blade pair in training with them, just looked mildly annoyed that they kept straying over to their half of the training room.

Nobody here even so much as batted an eye when he shifted. As far as he knew, there was no one else in the Blade of Marmora who could transform like he could- but it didn't matter. It turned out that there were countless half-Galra in the Blade, and that a lot of them barely even looked Galra, and all of them brought unique talents to the table. While there weren't any who resembled their non-Galra parent as strongly as he did, it didn't change the fact that to the rest of the Blade, he was just another mixed blood member who was in possession of a useful, if not curious, talent.

It felt... strangely comfortable. He didn't think it would, at first. But right now, he felt more at ease here with the Blade than he did back on the Castle.

Which wasn't to say that he _hated_ it back on the Castle- it was just... different. Pidge never stopped being curious. Lance never stopped it with the awful jokes. Hunk had been overly cautious ever since the pollen incident, and he didn't even have anything to _do_ with it. Only Allura and Coran were largely indifferent, but then, they were the only two who weren't human.

And then there was Shiro.

He frowned, his thoughts drifting back to him. He felt like he should be happier that Shiro was back. And he was! _Thrilled_ , in fact. But he just... it was different now, somehow. _Shiro_ was different.

He couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe it was because his scent had changed a little. But that wasn't even _that_ weird- it had always done that when he'd left for a mission, even long before Kerberos. It happened to everyone who went to space- they would always come back with a slightly different scent. Now was no different.

It was even worse when he was in feline form- it was like he couldn't even go near him. Like there was something that was keeping him away. He just didn't know _what_.

He didn't dwell on it long- couldn't, mostly because Regris had taken advantage of his lapse of awareness to tackle him to the floor. His tail swished behind him in triumph, and he didn't doubt that beneath his mask, there was a smug expression on his face.

"Rule number one," Regris hissed in his ear, "-don't let your guard down."

Keith groaned, letting his own mask dissolve. "Fuck you, Regris."

Regris merely beamed, also letting his mask dissolve as he rolled off of him. "Your Earthling swears tell me that I have triumphed greatly."

Grumbling, Keith pushed himself back up into a sitting position, watching Regris' tail settle itself behind him. Instead of thinking about Shiro, he thought about what it might be like to always have one instead. He knew he theoretically _could_ \- but it made him walk with a bit of a slouch, and he'd just never seen any reason to.

Besides, his wasn't prehensile like Regris' was- which always looked ridiculously useful.

"You seem distracted." Regris observed.

Keith jerked his head away from his tail, all but proving his point. He huffed, crossing his legs in front of him, catching the water pouch the Blade tossed to him. "It's nothing."

If Lance were here, he'd probably make some dumb joke about how it figured that a cat would be distracted by nothing. Regris just squinted, scrutinizing him in a way that spelled out how little he believed what he'd just said.

"It doesn't seem like nothing." Regris told him.

Keith frowned, turning the water pouch over in his hands without actually opening. "It's just... it's stupid."

"It can't be that stupid if it's bothering you this much." Regris pointed out.

Keith blinked, looking up at him. He'd known Regris for awhile now- the two of them were training partners. He was a little older than him- twenty-three Earth years old. If he were human, he'd be considered a proper adult, but to the Galra, he was still an adolescent, same as he was. It made him easy to get along with- easier than he thought it would be at first, when he couldn't wrap his head around the idea of training regularly with a Galra.

At some point, he'd stopped thinking about it like that.

 _He_ was Galra anyways- at least half. The more time he spent with the Blade, the more he understood that. There was so much about himself that just made _sense_ now- back when he had thought he was just a werecat, there was plenty of stuff that hadn't. He hadn't even realized it until he'd met Ina, who was an _actual_ werecat.

"It's just... I thought having Shiro back would be great. It was what I wanted for so long." Keith admitted. "And don't get me wrong. It is, and I'm still glad he's back and _safe_. I just-"

 _"With Shiro back, that makes six paladins, but there's only five lions,"_ Lance had told him, "- _and if I'm right, that's one paladin too many."_

"-I just feel like I don't belong, sometimes." Keith finished.

Regris tilted his head, studying him curiously. "I thought they were your comrades."

"They are." Keith said firmly. He didn't doubt that. "It's just... I don't know. I thought I was making progress with them, but apparently they still think of me as the loner."

It wasn't like he _enjoyed_ being alone- at least, not all the time. Sure, he liked the quiet, but sometimes he actually _wanted_ companionship. He'd just had to spend most of his life keeping his distance from people, out of fear that they would find out what he was. Now that he didn't have to worry about that, he'd thought that might change, but...

...it really didn't feel like it had. Sure, he thought of the other paladins as friends, but what if he was the only one? The only reason Lance had come to him for advice was because he was technically the leader, not because he actually wanted _his_ input. He wasn't dumb enough to think that the paladins _hated_ him- but sometimes it just felt like there wasn't that closeness that should be there if they actually _were_ friends.

And Shiro... things had been complicated with Shiro. Sometimes- a lot of the time, actually- he was still the same guy he'd always known. But other times...

It was probably just the trauma. He'd been captured by the Galra twice now. He knew he shouldn't let it get to him, and yet... well, it did sometimes.

"Have you talked to them about this?" Regris asked.

Keith blinked, before slowly shaking his head. "I don't want to bother them."

What if he was wrong? What if they _did_ think of him as a friend, and he just made himself out to be a huge asshole? Then they definitely wouldn't want to be friends with him.

"Well," Regris began, cracking what looked to be a smile, "-you have me."

Keith felt something in him ease at those words. He hadn't expected to find companionship and understanding among the _Galra_ of all places, but sometimes it felt like that was exactly what he'd found here with the Blade. Sure, it could be a cold environment at times, but he got that. They were fighting a life or death battle, _without_ the advantage of having a giant war machine back them up all the time.

"Yeah," he said, faintly smiling, "-guess I do."

"Now," Regris beamed, springing to his feet, "-you must teach me how you do the thing."

Keith snorted, hauling himself to his feet. "I can't teach you how to shift, Regris."

"No, no." Regris said. "I'm sure I can do it if I try."

* * *

"Is he-?"

"His condition has stabilized." Kolivan informed him. "But what you did was extremely reckless."

Keith bit his lip. He didn't know if he meant going back to save Regris, or...

"But he's not-?" Keith asked.

"He'll live." Kolivan said, looking at him with a critical, though not necessarily unkind, eye. "He seems to be adapting well."

Keith let out a breath of relief, his shoulders sagging. It felt like he had been holding it the entire time, ever since... well, ever since he bit Regris.

At the time, it had seemed like their only option. The ship had been a decoy, and the whole thing had been a trap. Whether it was one that had been set specifically by Lotor, or just by someone within the Galra Empire, they didn't know- they hadn't even been able to recover the ship's logs before the whole cruiser all but turned into a bomb. They were lucky they had all made it out alive.

 _Extremely_ lucky, in the case of Regris. Even then, he'd been fading fast, and it didn't- it didn't seem like he was going to make it. They couldn't even contact the Castle of Lions for a wormhole- everyone was at that stupid show of arms, so there was nobody around for emergency transport. Even _with_ a wormhole, it was hard to say if Regris would have held on for long enough to get him into a pod. He'd been in pretty bad shape.

He'd just acted on instinct. He knew in theory that a bite from a Shifter could bring a person back from near death- even though this too, was something considered to be taboo. He didn't know the exact reason- something about instilling them with the rapid healing capabilities of a Shifter, or along those lines.

He didn't know if it applied to Galra, but well, what was the worst that could happen? It would either do nothing, or kill him- and he'd already been at death's door.

So he'd made a gamble.

"Keith," Kolivan spoke, his tone stern, "-this was an exception."

"I know." Keith said. "It won't happen again."

Satisfied with that, Kolivan laid a hand on his head. It was an oddly comforting gesture. "You should rest."

He'd love to do nothing more than that. But instead he shook his head, shaking off Kolivan's hand with it. "I can't. I have to get back to the Castle."

He didn't want to go. All he'd get was a lecture from Allura, or have to listen to Lance yell at him for messing up their show. Like that was somehow more important than tracking down Lotor or finding the source of the mysterious new strain of quintessence.

The thought settled like a lump in his stomach. Even after he'd first learned that he was part Galra, he had still felt like the Castle was a place he could go back to. No matter how Allura or the other paladins reacted, at least Shiro was still there. But now... now he didn't want to.

He was still the black paladin, sure- but in so far as he saw it, that was only because Shiro hadn't tried again with the black lion. He knew that if he gave it another shot, it was bound to take him back. He'd never developed that deep connection with it like he'd had with Red, and maybe that was in part due to the fact that he was too afraid to, but...

If the black lion took Shiro back, it would solve everyone's problems.

Shiro would be a paladin again, Lance and Allura wouldn't have to give up their lions, and everyone would finally be free from his lackluster leadership. And he- he could join the Blade of Marmora full time. They wouldn't have to worry about tiptoeing around the fact that he was half-Galra anymore, and someone- someone needed to be here to teach Regris the ropes when he recovered.

His mother's knife suddenly felt like a weight on his back. Maybe he was never meant to be a paladin. Maybe this was always where he was meant to be.

With Shiro and Adam, it felt like he'd found family. With the paladins, it felt like he'd found friends. But with the Blade... sometimes they felt like they were his _clan_. And he'd... he'd never really had one of those before.

He hadn't even realized until now just how much he'd _wanted_ one.

"Just," Keith began, almost a bit hesitant, "-just contact me when Regris' condition changes. I should be here when he wakes up."

* * *

The end came faster than he thought.

One crisis later, and Shiro was the black paladin again. He was happy for him- seeing him back in the black paladin's armor again was everything he'd wanted.

And yet... when it came time to actually part, all he could do was feel sad. Voltron, the Castle, and the paladins... they had all been a part of his life for awhile now- it was impossible not to feel a bit sad about leaving them behind. He packed what few belongings he had- little more than the clothes he'd brought with him from Earth- away in a bag, and left.

There was a Marmoran ship waiting to pick him up. Inside was Regris, who still hadn't recovered enough to join them on missions yet, but was well enough to at least move about. He tried to fake a smile as he entered, but it didn't last long, so he instead opted to duck his head, hiding his face with his bangs.

Regris said nothing, just motioned for him to come over. He sat down next to him, clutching to his bag, unbidden memories of all the time he spent being shuffled between foster homes coming to mind. He could never recall a time where he'd felt this upset about it though- those places were houses, sure, but they were never his _home_.

And the Castle... the Castle had been his home for awhile.

Just not anymore.


End file.
